At this exact time in two weeks, I will be sitting in the Lisbon airport, waiting to board a plane and fly back to the US.
My plan is vague at this moment, and I have a few options for what I'll be doing while back in the States for three months. The options so far are, a west coast road-trip at craft shows, an artist residency in Southern Georgia, a summer in Brooklyn working at a Summer Concert Series and other odd jobs, even an offer to live in Seattle. In the next two weeks this plan will take a shape. But also in these two weeks, I will feel a sadness and uncertainty about how I am spending my last days in Lisbon, until I return in September.
I have settled into a life of spending time with my friends, eating at local places, working at the studio, or being home. It isn’t so different from my previous life in NYC. I stopped exploring as much as I did when I first arrived, and a guilty feeling has hit that I just didn’t do enough and my time is running out.
“It will all be here when you return,” is what I am told. But the next three months hold so much mystery, and I wonder what I will have experienced and who I will be when I return.
I ran into a guy I met here in Lisbon, and he was telling me about his plans to move. Even though I could see the trepidation of getting everything in order, I congratulated him. I know from my experience you have to keep putting one foot forward and plans evolve, the fear is a waste of time, although difficult to avoid. He agreed and told me of an old Portuguese saying that goes something like, 'If all you have is cold water for your shower and you don’t want to take a cold shower, then lather your body with soap and using cold water to rinse is the only choice.' I still kind of laugh at this story, and ummmm, okay, I guess it makes sense. Lather up, the rest is inevitable.
I will miss it here, and I will try not to dwell on every passing day…the 14 days and one hour. These are some of my daily sights I don’t want to forget.
Sights I see walking to and from the atelier to my home.